Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
