I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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