girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
