Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
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