I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize