If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
he just fucked me for my cheese..
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
