It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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