Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
birth control should be required to get into college
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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