Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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