He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
