Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Randomize
