I swear god or herbie drove my car home
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
