Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
