i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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