just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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