I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
So squirting runs in the family.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
