I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
