His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
