it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
My friends, they love my intelligence
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
