Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Damn victory sex feels great
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
