Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
