just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
