New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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