you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize