ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
