Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
