Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
