How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
