Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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