sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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