She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
