My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
i think im in europe. pls send help
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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