But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
She's like a pop up book from hell.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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