you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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