I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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