i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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