No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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