Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Let's get the cat blown out
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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