haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
