So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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