Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I have aggressive nipples.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
