This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
