Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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