it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
