I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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