I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
The beer is more important than you right now.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
