I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I need help removing her.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
