Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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