I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize