sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Ambien. No doubt about it.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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