in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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