he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
