vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
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