a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
