wat bout pragnant strippers??
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
