i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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