wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
