you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
