I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
cat food counts as protein by the way
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
